Paragraf Akhir Tahun

Tahun ini, menjadi guru terbesar dalam proses pendewasaan, bukan hanya diriku, tapi seluruh umat manusia di dunia.

Ada banyak rencana-rencana indah yang harus terpaksa gagal atau ditunda sampai entah kapan karena selebritis tahun ini yang mencekam ribuan nyawa.

Awalnya, berjuta kecewa, sedih, kesal, marah, entah berbagai perasaan meletup yang sukar dijelaskan. Kalau ini adalah layar lebar, maka aku adalah salah satu pemerannya, entah utama atau figuran, tapi yang jelas aku sudah mengemasi puluhan rencana dengan bayang-bayang indah yang kemudian berakhir berserakan. 

“ Ah kenapa sih, harus tahun ini?” 

“ Kenapa harus ditunda sih? Itu kan rencanaku sejak beberapa tahun yang lalu!”

“ MENYEBALKAN!”

Kemudian teriak, entah dengan lantang atau menjerit dalam hati. Tidak apa-apa, bebas. Namanya juga manusia, kalau tidak mengeluh, ya kecewa. Sekalinya sempurna, ingin lagi dan lagi, api kepuasan yang tidak pernah habis membara. 

Sebenarnya apa sih, maunya tahun ini? Apa tidak cukup, memporak-porandakan kesedihan yang tidak berujung larut karena setiap harinya selalu ada jiwa yang terbenam? Apa kurang, kesabaran kita selama ini karena menunda rencana yang gagal berserakan?

PLAK! Tahun ini menampar dengan keras. Bersyukur. Apa iya, aku sudah benar-benar bersyukur? Apa iya aku sudah benar-benar bersabar? 

“ Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya.” Bersyukur, rupanya kita adalah murid yang cukup kuat untuk menerima ilmu kehidupan dari guru kita —Tahun ini. Rupanya di balik lembaran rencana yang hancur, Tuhan menyisipkan secarik momen indah untuk kita nikmati. Kita diberikan kesempatan untuk membayar waktu-waktu yang hilang bersama keluarga. Kita diberikan disisipkan waktu untuk istirahat dari kesibukan sebelumnya. 

Tenang saja, satu rencana Tuhan akan selalu lebih indah daripada puluhan rencana yang sudah kita tata. Di lembar terakhir dari 366 halaman ini, ada berbagai syair berisi doa dan harapan bersama.

Dan besok, kita akan memulai lembar pertama dari 365 hari yang bersiap menyisipkan cerita dengan berbagai alur untuk kita syukuri.

Bukan sampai jumpa lagi,

Tapi terima kasih, 2020.

— Love, C.

If,

 If you were the paint,

Would you color my day?

If you were the ink,

Would you scratch my name in your page?

If you were the moon,

Would you stay shine, even the dark is gone?

If you were the pancake,

Would you like me to add some mapple syrup?

If you were the dessert,

Would you be a cake or pudding?

If you were mine,

Would you laugh when you hear my laughter? Would you wipe my tears when I cry? Would you give me a warm hug at my lowest? Would you never turn back from me?

Would you?

The Day 6

It’s been almost a week I quarantined myself. Social distancing, or whatever people call that. At first, I was being like those ignorance people, pretending like nothing happened because of this virus. I was like, Ah, the virus still far away, and not much people got affected (at that time) in my city. I was also so brave to going anywhere, chilling out there without worry anything.

But everytime I go home, my mom always welcoming me with anger. Saying Am I can’t take care of myself? Am I not reading any articles? Watching news? And she continue to text me some posts contain prayers every morning, so that I will be safe and protected. She also never tired to reminds to for always wearing mask, bring handsanitizer, social distancing, bring some water, and of course praying.

I was on an internship program, and when I go in the afternoon, I saw very rare things. Either the roads or some places were so quiet. My city was like… dying. And then I realized, this virus is more than serious.

I started to read and watch some news about this virus. Almost everyday I check my social media, not for showing off some fame or glamorous, but looking for how many victims that increased. And suddenly, I was so afraid. I am afraid that my dreams will failed. And it’s true, almost everything that I planned, I prepared so well, far days, canceled.

All schools, colleges, and workplaces, include mine, are lockdowned. I go back to home and even untill this second, I haven’t take myself to anywhere. Everything paced online, and I being so emotional. There are still a lot of my friends are being so ignorance. They don’t understand anything about social distancing, and still in their fun way, chilling, and hanging out. I told them to please, just stay at home, it’s dangerous out there, but yea ofc, they don’t even care. Some of them started thinking, that us, who staying at home, got no courage to going out, are exaggerated. I mean, they think that it’s holiday, but no… I think, it’s the phase of lockdown, slowly. So terrible. I never expected, that this virus will be so dangerous.

Everytime I watch the news, will always there any victims, or maybe decrease… because died. And everytime I see Instastories, there are still a lot of people who ignorance. You know what? You guys are so mean. You still have dreams and families.

Everyone is hiding, seeking for safe places and choose to stay at home, make sure that the whole family is safe, and praying everyday. Well indeed, I, myself, have no rights to push you all to staying at home. But what I know is… we are sisters, brother, we are family. And taking care each other, is what family do. You still have to reach your dreams, and the family still love you. So you should… no, you HAVE TO love yourself and please, just stay at home.

#BeSafe
#StayAtHome
#Covid-19

You, Coffe, and Rain.

You love coffe,
Just like me, who never get bored everytime I see your face.
And sometimes, I copied your moves. When you smile, I do smile, even tho I don’t know the reason. When you pout your lips, it dragging my mood down either, even tho I don’t know why.
But it’s fine, we don’t have to tell everything. Sometimes, just by looking each other, we knew. Right? I think it’s right, eyes speak.
And when the rain is coming,
You drink coffe.
Isn’t that bitter? Why don’t you just drink chocolate instead? It warms your body. But you said, coffe is also warming. Then I try, but still, it’s bitter!
You laugh, and then put your hands on my shoulder. Ah, you are right, it feels warm.
Well, do you know that it’s raining?
Are you drink coffe right now?
I am cold.

The raining sunday, 

You love coffe and I love you.